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Making the World Cuter: Feeling Un-super

A blog where one woman is on a mission to make the world cuter, one kid, cupcake or crafty thing at a time.

6.09.2009

Feeling Un-super

I have gotten a few comments lately about being a 'super mom'.
I appreciate them...a lot.
Because lately I have been feeling so un-super, and kind of like a nobody in all areas of my life.
Maybe that's why I am trying to take on so many new things right now.
I am extremely busy all day, but doing what I'm not quite sure...

My kids get dressed, schooled (or at least read to) and played with daily.

They get to go on play dates, and have play dates, they have 3 meals each day, and never go without a hug, a kiss and an I love you, and that should really be enough for any stay at home mom right?

My house is usually cleaned up enough that if somebody came to the door, I could invite them in...as long as they were the kind of people that were okay seeing toys scattered in different locations throughout the house and the occasional stack of dishes near the sink.

(IF you are planning on stopping by, come first thing in the morning before my kids wake up-I rarely go to sleep with a messy house-I just wake up to one!).

I think that is a pretty big thing, that I should feel good about. For some reason I can only think about all that didn't get done though.

I do something crafty at least once a week. (I feel like I need to do more to keep up with some of those crafty moms who quilt, scrapbook and decorate their houses like pottery barn on a budget of $20.)

I really need to create for myself-if I don't make time to do it, I feel terrible. I'm a creative person, who has been lacking time and inspiration lately, and that may very well be the stem of all this un-super-ness.

Chad is working, or at school all the time, and when he is home, I am sure he feels like I am just hounding him with all the things that need to be done around here, that only he can do.

I try really hard to be a loving and supportive wife, but at the end of the day when he comes home at 9:00 or early in the morning when he comes in at 7:00, it seems I can't help but fall short of being loving and supportive.

The kids are all needing me in different places, and have been all day. I want help.

It's hard to say, "your dad needs to study, or sleep, so you'll need to wait just a minute while I...change this diaper, make a bottle, read a story, clean up this mess, answer this email about church stuff, help Bekah with her math, wipe this one's bum, put the baby gate up, take a shower, get dressed, put these dishes away, fix this ballet shoe, make the shopping list, deal with this teenager stuff, get ready for the step kids and grandma's to come, clean cat poop out of the sandbox, vacuum up the floor again so Porter doesn't eat that...and I'm sorry if you need it right this second, I am only one person, and I can only do 15 things at once."

I do let him sleep, and most of the time study, but it's hard to keep showing a loving and supportive attitude, even though I do love and support him completely.

I have been helping financially in some way almost the entire time we have been married.

This past year, I have contributed nothing. In the year that we probably have needed my help the most.

I know that I need to be home with my kids right now, it's more important than any amount of money could bring, still I can't help but feel like I am falling short yet again.

(In some GREAT news, starting in the fall I will be teaching pre-school here in town 2 days a week to help us out a little financially, and I'll be able to take my 2 oldest, while Porter gets a play date one day, and a day of fun with his dad the other day (hopefully). That's 2 days of homeschool that I don't need to prepare for, and it will give my kids a little bit of social time, while making money-I think it will be a perfect fit).

I am starting to feel better about stuff, the closer it gets to having everyone get here (tomorrow!), the closer it gets to me starting school and I am seeing other things come together the more I take on, funny how that works huh?

It definitely doesn't hurt when I get nice comments from you either! One of the main reasons we all love to read an write blogs-the comments that can brighten our days, and help brighten someone elses.

I guess the whole point is, no matter how super some mom is striving to be, (and I know we are all trying our best), there is always something more that they think needs to be done. Something they wish they could be doing differently, better or more of. In whatever areas I'm lacking in, I'm sure there are many of you who are succeeding, and vice versa.

Reading and writing blogs can sometimes be a catch 22-you can be inspired by others to be better, feel good about yourself by being able to share your talents and strengths, and then there are the times when you can look at a blog, and think "How is she doing it all?" Truth be told, she probably isn't.

(At least that's what I have to tell myself)

5 Comments:

Blogger Chad said...

You are truly super to me!! I don't know how you do everything you do and still have a smile on your face. I love you for your happiness and your feelings of self. You are always trying to improve which is what we all SHOULD be doing; in reality you are perfect to me!!

Tue Jun 09, 01:16:00 PM

 
Blogger Jaime said...

I think the answer to your mommy blues is a girls night!! Does Chad work tonight? Movie?? Asfalt pie??

Tue Jun 09, 02:50:00 PM

 
Blogger Julie Smith said...

I don't know when it happens, sometime after the birth, usually during the first feeding. That feeling that we are inadaquate. I hate to say you get used to it but you kind of do. At some point you realize it's all in your head.
I JUST FIGURED IT OUT!!! THAT'S WHAT OUR MISSING BRAIN CELLS WERE REPLACED WITH!!! Obviously you're not inadaquate, you are a super mom. Where's that fiesty teenager that wasn't about to bake brownies for any stupid boys, "they can bake brownies for me"! Go get a little girl time and remember your awesome self!!!

Tue Jun 09, 05:34:00 PM

 
Blogger Lisa C said...

You sure sound like a super-mom to me. I totally understand what you mean about wanting to be loving and supportive to your husband, but not really having anything to give after a long day of giving to your children. In some cultures they have allomothers--people (usually women) who will take the children off of your hands for a bit every day. Here, we call that a nanny or daycare. But we have to pay for that. I'd do it if I could (you know, just an hour here or there). But we have a mortgage and I'm not making any money to pay for one!

Anyway, I just started reading this book called "What Mothers Do (Especially when it looks like nothing)" by Naomi Stadlen. Such an uplifting book. Even if we aren't getting anything "done" we are still raising the next generation--and what could be more important than that? Even just BEING there, you are doing so much.

(I don't blame you for wanting to do creative stuff, either. I keep thinking of a million things I want to make and never do.)

The whole preschool thing sounds great!

Tue Jun 09, 07:27:00 PM

 
Blogger Sara said...

I agree with Jaime, def a girls night needed! My kids were just asking to have your over today, it is amazing what a few hours of no body home can do for a mommy, send them on over anytime! OR we could meet at the park. There is one right around the corner from us, did you know that, its a goodie! PS I don't know you super well but I'll just say, was a little intimidated by your super crafty, super patient, super motivated, super cooking, super mommy, super home schooler, super churchy, super, super skills, hoping you could rub off on me alittle :)

Tue Jun 09, 09:04:00 PM

 

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